The Style Invitational Week 1018 Reologisms
By Pat Myers, Thursday, April 18, 5:43 AM
As you see in this week’s
results, our perennial Join Now contest produced dozens of clever neologisms
with clever, funny definitions. And also dozens of clever neologisms with, well . . . . This week: Here are Loser-concocted
neologisms from Week 1014 as well as from Week 1000 (in which you had to change
a real T-through-Z word by one letter) that deserve better definitions than
their creators offered at the time. Write a clever, funny definition for any of
them. You may add a hyphen and capitalization if you like, wherever you like.
We’re bound to get a lot of entries with the same general idea, so your funny
writing will be key. Using the word in a funny
sentence helps. (That would be a funny sentence.)
The neologisms:
Agreeorist • Appology • Banxiety •
Bleedership • Demonomics • Dollege • Dreamergency • Dysfuncarian • Farticle •
Fedative • Fedulation • Flushitational • Foxic waste • Frankenbobble • Geriair
• Gubermensch • Hex-Mex • Hootsuit • Humgram • Hypatitis • Investicide •
Kleptobysmal • Neuternet • Obviass • Pinhibition • Scabinet • Smartyr • Snafood
• Tattool • Testosteroni • Todderance • Troglodate • Vermine • Voldemart •
Wartergate • Wastington • Whombat • Wikimpedia • Wunderithm • Yaho • Zealouse •
Zomba
Winner gets the Inkin’
Memorial, the Lincoln-statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational
trophy. Second place receives the fine 100 percent cotton tribute, pictured at
left, to the lush, hilly attractions of the Cornhusker State. Donated by 83-time Loser Dudley Thompson.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a
smelly, tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail
entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is
Monday, April 29; results published May 19 (online May 16). No more than 25
entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 1018” in
your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Include your real
name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and
guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules. The subhead for this week’s honorable
mentions is by Brad Alexander.; the alternative headline in the “Next week’s
results” line is by Danielle Nowlin. Join the lively Style Invitational
Devotees group on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.
Report from Week 1014, in which we asked you to combine the beginnings
and/or ends of two words in a single Washington Post article and define the
result:
The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial
Ping-Pyong: A high-stakes
game in which two countries smack threats back and forth with lobs, spin and
backhand shots. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
2. Winner of the two crudely
named hand sanitizers (this one and this one):
Cypr-security: Odd form of
national protection in which the government breaks into your bank account. (Kyle Hendrickson, Urbana, Md.)
3. Bubburb: A trailer park. (Jeff Hazle, Woodbridge,
Va.)
4. DOMAtose: Entirely out of
touch with the rest of the world. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Weld-defined: honorable mentions
Yogling: Stop looking up in
downward-facing dog, Mister! (Deborah Wagner, Brookeville, Md., a First
Offender)
Abdicament: When your
six-pack turns into a keg. (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)
Invisylvania: To a House
member, anyplace outside the home district. (Michael Gaffney,
Bethesda, Md.)
Moneymoon: The two-minute interval just after you win the lottery, but before your
relatives call. (Bruce Alter, Fairfax Station, Va.)
Ghostscape: Google+, the
antisocial network. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
Rantosophy: The principle
holding that the more questionable the viewpoint, the higher the volume of its
adherents. (Jeff Hazle)
Pompisserie: A bathroom at
Versailles. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)
Bipartistan: Mythical country
where leaders work together for the common good. (Jeff
Brechlin, Eagan, Minn.)
Cramnesia: Drawing
a blank during a final exam after pulling an all-nighter. (Chris Doyle, Ponder,
Tex.)
Multimudgeonly: Cranky about
everything! (Pie Snelson, Silver Spring, Md.)
Niplomacy:The art of maintaining eye contact with a woman in a sheer
blouse. (Chris Doyle)
McAka: One of those
dark-looking workers at fast-food restaurants. — G. Allen, Richmond (Mike Gips)
Sluggage: Bags
that arrive two days after you do. (Chris Doyle)
Lobsteer: A
genetically engineered surf ’n’ turf dish. (Chris Doyle)
Domestick: A parasite found
stuck to the sofa. (Jeff Brechlin)
Disgrumpled: Bent out of
shape. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)
Turbryo: A fetus that never
stops kicking. (Edmund Conti)
Sequecide: Killing your
chances for reelection. (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.)
Flosscross: The stringiest of
string bikinis. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)
Gyroscones: Finally, they
designed toast that always lands butter side up. (Robert
Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
Fezenda: A tassel. “Wow,
Trixie sure can twirl those fezendas during her dance!” (Syd McPherson,
Woodbridge, Va., a First Offender)
Cesspull: The tug-of-war
contest that’s the highlight of Visitors Day at Blue Plains Treatment Plant.
(Syd McPherson)
Ye-mail: Olden form of
communication involving paper products and “postage.” (Beverley
Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Rageweeds: Those plants that
produce all this ?@#$%^&*+ pollen!!! (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Flowhow: What Mom explains to
her 10-year-old daughter. (Tom
Buckley, Centreville, Va.)
Offendix: The part of the
body that does nothing but take umbrage and registers slights; prone to
inflammation and, for many people, better removed. (Mark
Raffman, Reston, Va.)
NEA-culpa: The new motto of
Wisconsin as Gov. Scott Walker forces teachers unions to take the blame for
everything that’s wrong with America. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond)
Mammosaur: A retired Hooters
waitress. (David Garratt)
Preg-nup: An “agreement”
often reached at the point of a shotgun. (Mark Raffman)
Merch-mosphere: That section
of the cable bandwidth containing the five channels from QVC to HSN (James
Pierce, Charlottesville, Va.)
Liblash: A painful condition
that occurs when left-leaning people are stuck watching Fox News in the auto
service waiting room. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
Humoroids: A malady resulting
from repeated strained attempts to be funny. (Jeff Brechlin)
And Last:
Attabroad: Inadvisable compliment to the contest judge upon getting ink. (Ray Lum, Arlington, Va.)
Next week’s results: Faux Re Mi, or Time to Fake the
Music
NOT EVERYTHING IS FLAT IN
NEBRASKA
Omaha-Ha: This week’s second
prize showcases the topography of Nebraska, or Nebraskans.